The Tainan Oyster Masquerade: Part 1

If you ask most Taiwanese where to head for a relaxing weekend of fine seafood and ocean scenery, it is unlikely their first answer will be Tainan. For those who have not visited in recent years the mention of Tainan’s beaches is more likely to bring up connotations of washed up detritus and industrial despoilment, than places to be enjoyed for their natural beauty. And while this makeover is still a work in progress, one has an opportunity to enjoy the city, before it undergoes the inevitable tourist oriented transformation of Kenting.

As part of the national government’s long overdue attempt to remarket Taiwan as a destination for international tourism, Tainan has received massive grants to upgrade its public spaces and build upon its historical and natural assets. They have done well, creating an environment replete with beautifully landscaped, pedestrian-oriented districts that enhance the historic architecture and present a wealth of opportunities for pleasant street-side eating.

Despite the hungry donkey’s long tenure in Taiwan we have spent little time in this fine city, and we in no way claim to be experts in the subtleties of Tainan cuisine. It should also be stated that one of our meals was in fact a disastrous insult (this nightmare will be recounted in gory detail in the first installment of the Angry Donkey). But aside from this one wrong turn, our brief culinary adventures in the city were a resounding success.

In this first installment on the cuisine of Tainan, we will focus on a single ingredient. It is to be found in great abundance in the city. It requires no cooking and is best enjoyed with as little meddling as possible. The flavour of this food cannot be enhanced by elaborately concocted sauces. When it is contaminated in such a manner, it draws more attention to the ego of the chef than to the subtle potency of its God-given essence. For as Anatole France so wisely posited:

"What can be more foolish than to think that all this rare fabric of heaven and earth could come by chance, when all the skill of art is not able to make an oyster! "

Darwin clearly never had the pleasure of a raw oyster. Yes my friends, the oyster, sent straight from heaven in all of its glory. Debatably a superior organism to man, and most definitely a superior organism to the donkey!

Our first experience with the Tainan oyster was an admitted failure on our part. Knowing that we live in a culture whose enjoyment of the oyster is largely limited to battered and deep-fried with basil, or sautéed into a ketchup-drowned omelette, we should have been painstakingly specific in our instructions to the cook. Specifying the word “raw” was clearly not sufficient. When our oysters emerged from the back of the restaurant they were indeed raw, but the shells were nowhere to be seen. The oysters had been torn from their natural casings and laid on a bed of ice. Serving a raw oyster without its shell can only be likened to serving a raw wiener with its skin peeled off. Or perhaps returning a child to its mother with its eyes and limbs removed. It’s a heinous crime and an assault on the senses.

Half of the enjoyment of eating a raw oyster is with the experience of the shell. It’s rough, encrusted outing casing and its exquisitely smooth and delicate inner surface. These contrasts are experienced through both vision and touch—by the eye as it sits on the plate; by the hand as it is raised to the lips; and by the tongue just before the moment of consumption.

This aesthetic depredation was mirrored in the taste of the flesh. Not only does the shell serve as an object of contemplation, it also acts as a vessel for the essential juices that bring with them the higher-toned, sublime flavours of the oyster—they are the very soul of the oyster. The foolishness of discarding this nectar cannot be overstated.

Being deprived of the shell along with the essential juices of the oysters, we were left with only a pale shadow of what an oyster can be—limpid, slimy things clinging to ice-cubes, presented with wasabi on the side, and consumed with chopsticks. The entire experience was less than satisfying and should be taken as a warning for others looking for the glory of the oyster in Tainan. Specify not only raw but also in the shell. If you don’t know how to say this in Chinese, look it up.