Subliminal porn at Starbucks

Despite the plethora of cool, well-designed coffee shops in Taiwan, all of them (much like Jerry Seinfeld's TV girlfriends) seem to have a fatal flaw. These flaws range from shitty coffee, to way overpriced coffee, to small crowded tables. At 85C, the nations most popular low-end coffee chain, I once sat in amazement as they handed out free noise makers to the kids. You know, the ones with a balloon attached to a whistle. The sound they produce is somewhere between the squeals of a pig being slaughtered and those of a cat in heat. It was great to hear twenty of them going off at the same time as I sipped my americano.

At Starbucks, the coffee is passable and not too over-priced. The music selection generally ranges from great to inoffensive and its always at the right volume. The decor and lighting are also fairly soothing and I even dig on some of the prints decorating the walls. The employees have been well-programmed, and even though I'm sick of being asked if I want cake and being warned that my coffee is hot for the trillionth time, they are generally pleasant and get the drinks out in a reasonable amount of time. Most importantly for a crowded country like Taiwan, the tables are spaced at a comfortable distance so you can stretch out and chill without getting elbowed or assed in the back of the head.

I'm also a huge fan of the Moby Dick inspired name and the quasi-cultish looking logo. Did you ever take a close look at it? What's with the girl in the crown? How about those things she's holding in each hand beside her head?

If you haven't figured it out on your own, she's a mermaid; and that seductress of a siren is spreading her two fish tails in a position readers of Hustler might be familiar with. Check out how the logo has evolved over the years.

 

Here's the original 15th century engraving that the first Starbucks logo is taken from:

Look at that shameless tart spreading it for the sailors. It wasn't only the siren's song that drew so many men to their watery graves.

But is this subliminal porn at Starbucks limited to the logo? This morning I arrived at my local branch for my daily caffeine fix and decided to venture out beyond my usual coffee of the day. I ordered up an item that had been piquing my curiosity for some time. This item, labeled as a canele, was foreign to my experience. It was a dark, chocolaty brown colour and of a peculiar shape that I found myself strangely drawn to.

Check it out from this angle:

Hmmm, what is it about this shape that I find so alluring? Let's take another look at the name of this tasty treat. Now if we take the 'c' off the front of canele, what are we left with? That's right: anele. Now look again at the shape and try to pretend that it doesn't remind you of something.

Come to think of it, a long time ago at my favorite steak house, I did have the chance to sample this desert. It was delicious. Here's a picture of the place:

(Starbucks logos and mermaid image found at Dead Programmer's Cafe)