Of Soup and Love, The First is Best

You've made it past the get-to-know-you coffee sessions, you've gone out for dinner, held hands at a movie--maybe exchanged a kiss--and now it's time to cook for them. First off, don't get the wrong idea about my rather old fashioned dating progression listed above. It doesn't matter if you're living in the 50s, or you've already snorted every powdered letter of the alphabet off their birthday suit, the point is: You've invited them over to your house for the first time--and yer doing the cooking, pal. So, you'd better buck up your ideas.

There are many things to consider here--before even thinking about what to cook and when to do it. First of all, you need to find out what they like and don't like. Find out if there are some foods they hate, or are allergic to, then proceed to step two. Now that you've got a little road map to follow, it's time to nix out some ingredients more suited for an old veteran couple that no longer care about the niceties of courtship. What I mean is, avoid food that creates gas, extreme bad breath, and potential diarrhea.

Sounds serious--but all too often a young man or woman will try to impress their date with spicy as fuck Indian food or beany Mexican, only to throw the night into a humiliating tailspin. So keep that in mind. Save the Spice Road for later. And keep it light. It is always better with any dinner party to run out of food, than to have tons of leftovers. It's also a lot less work, and in the end, it makes the cook look better. Another important consideration is to assess the relationship. There's no need for champagne and strawberries if you just met. Avoid creating an over-done scenario that makes both of you awkward. Same token: don't under-do it. Grill cheeses and pop could come off as pretty lame. So use your noggin, Kenny Loggins.

Once you have your ingredients in mind, it's important--if you do cook regularly--to choose a recipe you are familiar with. This is not the time for experimentation. Chances are, you will get flustered and run the risk of blowing the whole deal. Recipes are testy little things. They are not a perfect science, and almost always need some tweeking. So, choose a dish you know well. If you are not a cook, but still wish to delve into the romantic gesture of preparing dinner for your new fling, then plan ahead and try the recipe prior to the big night. Test it out on your buddies. Make adjustments. Get familiar with the process--and figure out how to create the dish right. Otherwise, you will show some pretty unsavory elements of your behavior--sweating and swearing in the kitchen. And, more importantly, you will come off as being indisposed and unavailable.

On the day, you should pre-prepare. Get your ingredients early. Don't forget beverages. Know where all your needed equipment is. Do your chopping and whatever else you need. Cordon off your spices and herbs for easy grabbing. Boil the water, or whatever else you need to do before the main cooking. Ideally, your date should arrive as the house is starting to smell good. Have a drink. Cooking should be done 30 minutes or so after they arrive. Maybe some cheetos wouldn't hurt. Joking--appetizers are nice though. A little time to relax is a good thing. The more prepared you are in the kitchen, the more relaxed your date will become. Remember: you may think you're nervous cooking for someone for the first time, but they could be even more nervous than you. They are the ones who have to react to YOUR food. It's kind of like that awkward feeling when someone gives you a gift. All eyes on you. And you prepare for the fake smile--the lie, "It's really really really good, seriously..." So, put your guest and yourself at ease. The more casual the affair, the less your date will feel like they have to lie to you if they hate the food.

Another important thing is to make your date feel useful without making them peel potatoes for an hour like some bastard sailor. Leave a few necessary, yet low strain jobs to make them feel like they're contributing. This is a funny one. Nobody wants to sit alone while you're flitting around the kitchen, and they don't want to stand there pretending to be learning how to cook something, and at the same point--they don't want to perform some tedious task you left unfinished. So, setting the table is a good one. A very good one; not only is it a manageable and easy task, you are giving them the authority to set the mood--hence, you are creating an atmosphere and mood together. Aesthetics are just as important as the food you are about to eat. Another good job for your date is opening the wine, or whatever you're drinking. Putting on some music. Lighting candles, etc. All very necessary--additions to the overall ambience, not missing components of your shoddy performance.

And finally, do the dishes--all the dishes, yourself. I recommend cleaning as you go to avoid a nasty pile-up in the sink, but everybody has their own style. Also, you should never clean up immediately after dinner. It's fine to clear the table and run some water over the plates, but now you should be getting on to some nice relaxing time together....provided you didn't kybosh the whole night.