The Wavis Cocktail

When the Thirsty Ass orders up a cocktail he tends to fall back on tried and true standbys. When he's feeling his normal jaunty self, these would include the G&T the V&T and the J&C. For hangovers he turns to the bloody Mary (or the ceasar when on home soil). For baptisms, brisses and masked balls, the gin martini always takes the edge off. When symptoms of scurvy begin appearing, a greyhound or a vodka cran does the trick. Going any further than this tends to produce puzzlement in the bartenders of the kind of drinking establishments he frequents. Not that this presents a problem; the Thirsty Ass is generally content as long as there is booze in his cup.

But the Ass is always open to new flavour sensations, pass him the cup and he will drink. Earlier today, at the home of the great gynalcohologist Wade Davis, the Ass was presented with an entirely new species of cocktail. This cocktail contained a powerful secret ingredient. It produced a pungent flavour, somewhere between sour, spicy, sweet and astringent.  This complex flavour lit up all areas of the tongue and triggered a massive release of serotonin in the brain. It blended harmoniously with the vodka, and seemed like a long lost cousin of the apple juice in which it was mixed. Perhaps a few of you more astute readers have deduced the secret ... or perhaps it is beyond the imagination of anyone who would bother to read the ramblings of a Donkey. Anyway, here it is: organic lemon vinegar mixed with organic apple cider vinegar.

Vinegar? ... in a cocktail? that's right, you heard it first here, straight from the Donkey's mouth. I predict fruit vinegars will slowly begin popping up in the cocktails of finer drinking establishments. It will then swell into a world-wide rage with vinegar bars popping up on every corner. Finally the trend will die out as reports surface that vinegar, contrary to common belief, causes sterility in men and cancer in rats. But until that time, be the first kid on your block to be sipping the newest in new-wave vinegar cocktails. In honour of the mad genius who created it, it will heretofore be known as The Wavis.

(The vinegar in question was a homemade variety procured from the Zhong Mei Jie Market in Taichung, just up from Xiang Shang Lu, for 400nt a bottle.)

The Wavis Cocktail
Fill a tumbler 2/3rds full with ice
Add two ounces of quality vodka
Throw in 1-2 tablespoons of organic fruit vinegar (Wade's concoction was about 9 parts apple cider vinegar and 1 part lemon vinegar, but feel free to experiment)
Fill the glass with pure organic apple juice
Stir
Enjoy 


If you're feeling nutso, throw in the contents of one ripened passion fruit for some extra explosions of flavor. If you've got a mortar and pestle, crush up the seeds a bit first.