Seeing as Chuck has (in our first week) managed to take our promising blog to sub-pedestrian levels with his ode to Mc Dairnuld's breakfast, I find it hard to resist slumming it myself. As a foreigner in Taiwan, sans proper business papers, I find myself shuffling my feet around the airport every 60 days, embarking or returning from another unremarkable visa run. With either an empty stomach that grumbles out of neglect or one that groans in protest to the in-flight cuisine I've hucked down, I despair at times. Visa runs are mundane enough without having to starve. And one need not remind oneself of these bland times by stuffing grey food down the hole.
Hence, my solution to foreigners in Taiwan, or tourists on visit. The Airport Basement Food Court. Yes, for in the sub-levels of our Taiwan Taoyuan International Airport can be found the holiest of holy fast food chains....the Burger King--or the Hamburger King, as I fondly call it. What other international airport in the world can offer hamburger eat on goodness at pedestrian cost? None, that's who. The BK International is not part of some glossed over, mustard and taupe walled airport food court. It offers no "free" internet. There are no plush couchettes where you can read your Ladies Day Magazine, and there isn't a Starbucks in sight. Just a few other crappy restaurants--that are never open--and a Burger King that always is.
To top it off, this Hamburger King happens to be self-serve. A luxury among fast food chains. A point-and-shoot burger and fries to carry you through your flight or to soothe your way home post arrival. Which leads me to my recommendation: The Bacon Double Cheeseburger, medium fries, medium Coke. This is by far the best pre-boarding combo available. This special hamburger fits perfectly in palm of the hand, and is best classified as a semi-dry burger. It is not as saucy as it's fat sibling, The Whopper. It is simple, the barbecue sauce and bacon compliment the lower flavor registers of meat and cheese, and it is mess free--which is not only a crowd pleaser, but a mature choice when you're about to face immigration officials....or maybe even a cute flight attendant.
On the other end of things--upon arrival to this wonderful country--I would then suggest the Whopper combo. Take it as a silent celebration; a pat on the back for getting your ass back on the island for another 60 days. Allow those juices to flow down through your fingers because if you are a broke-ass visa-runner like me, this is the closest thing to a welcome back steak dinner you're gonna get.
You know, there are moments in this Taiwan life of mine that I have to thank my lucky stars that I don't live somewhere else. I am soothed when I get back here. It's like pulling up the old driveway for Thanksgiving Dinner with the family. It's like the smell of pine needles at the cabin. Taiwan is disarming yet open-armed. And should friendly immigration and customs officials, and an almost absence of security, be a gauge on how good this place is, you would have to agree that Taiwan is one of the good guys. And if you're in the mood, stop by the Hamburger King in the basement. Get your burger on and have a couple laughs...
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